Bag Lady

“Bag Lady, you gon hurt yo back,

Dragging all them bags like that,

I guess nobody ever told you

All you must hold on to,

Is YOU, IS YOU” –Erykah Badu, Bag Lady

When I first heard this song, I had no idea the message behind it.  I loved it though, it’s one of my favorite tunes to sing along to.  I recently moved and realized that I was starting to become a BAG LADY, an undercover emotional hoarder.  This move was very significant for me. I was in that place for 3 years so you can imagine the memories and emotions that were attached to 123 Memory Lane.  I was going through my personal items while unpacking, trying to decide what I needed to throw away.  I sat in the floor for about an hour reading old cards, looking at pics, souvenirs, and other memorabilia.   It was a really hard decision to throw away all those things that represented periods of love, fun, and lifelong memories.  In the end, I said eff it and threw it all in the trash.

I hate throwing things away because I feel that I will need it somewhere down the line or because it’s a reminder of a past event.  A few weeks ago at church, the pastor said something that made me walk down the aisle for alter prayer.  You know when you been holding something in and your chest is hurting because your pride won’t let you acknowledge that you are human and have emotions?? Yea, that feeling.  All he simply said was, “you’ve got to release the past to receive the promise of the future”.  It hit home.  So at the end of the service when he called folks down for prayer to let something go that you’ve been holding on to, I couldn’t let the moment pass.  I prayed and it was released.

Unfortunately for a lot of people, it’s hard to let go.  We hold on to the pain of failed relationships, bad childhoods, absent parents, loss of loved ones and insecurities.  We hold on to what used to be.  “I remember when I used to do this, or when I was growing up…” We should not allow the past to have power over our future.  In doing so, we fail to receive the blessings of today.  How can you thoroughly enjoy life if you are constantly comparing it to yesterday?  I think we hoard these emotions in our minds and allow it to shape our outlook on the future, becoming bitter, regretful, and hopeless. 

“One Day all them bags gone get in your way. So pack light”

Like the song says, Pack light.  Don’t allow those events to define who you are today.  It’s ok to reflect and acknowledge the hurt or the feelings you experienced back then, but that’s where it ends.   Leave those bags where you found them. At some point, all that baggage will GET IN YOUR WAY and hinder you.  Think about the show hoarders: either you clean up and throw away the mess or get evicted. Whether it is a new relationship or a new job, at some point you will have to leave your past behind and step into your future.  All you need is you. Go out and create new memories.  What you feel you may have lost will come back to you.   

Here’s the link for the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqN0jsSeqPo

For my symbolic people, notice how the women in the video represent different issues.  I believe this is an ode to Ntozake Shange’s For Colored Girls choreopoem, where each poem was presented by 7 women in different colors, representing the issues they faced. 

Be blessed and let it go,

-grannyBee