The Mayor

The “Mayor” I was thinking of a name to give this week’s #mcm and the “Mayor” popped up.  Funny how he has that listed in his bio on Instagram lol. Today’s #MCM is no other than my GUY and everybody else’s guy, Bruce Fields.  If you’re in Richmond, Atlanta, New York, America, etc, then you should know this guy or probably already do.  I met Bruce at VCU sometime between my freshman or sophomore year.  The one thing I have noticed and admired about Bruce is that he’s a well-connected man.  If it has anything to do with music, food, art, or fashion, he’s usually on the scene or a part of it. #HeGetsAround !  This man packs clubs for his birthday and his “hologram” makes frequent appearances in major cities in the US lol.

Bruce graduated from VCU and has experience as a brand marketer and associate producer.  He’s a member of Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity, Co-Founder of the Connoisseur Magazine, Founder of the noBodies, and a supporter of the #47thHour project.  Every time I see Bruce, he always asks about what’s going in my life.  I saw Bruce one Saturday night at a friend’s house the day before he was leaving for New York for the umpteenth time.  We were joking, gossiping, and having a good time when the conversation changed into a more serious tone.  You know those moments when you just start talking about L.I.F.E and all the bull that’s going on.  I remember hearing about Bruce getting a full time job (not in his field) here in Richmond but soon after he was heading to Atlanta out of the blue.  Even though this happened a few years ago, I had to ask, “How did you get the courage to just up and leave Richmond where you were so comfortable and connected”?  Bruce told me that he was given the chance to intern in Atlanta for a large advertising agency.  He left his full time job and had to live in a hotel for 3 months making next to nothing.  All he could think about was proving to his self that he could make it in the advertising/marketing industry no matter what city he was in.  Long story short, he ended up getting a full time position with the company.

Bruce might not have known at that moment, but I was inspired by his story.  His leap of faith gave him the opportunity of a lifetime.  I’ve thought about that story quite a few times as I contemplate my own willingness to take risks.  Bruce has always been supportive of everyone he knows and really puts on for his city.  No matter where he ends up, he can’t leave Richmond behind. You can find him on the #RVAHappy video and his pictures on his Instagram account portray Richmond as an artistic, eclectic, diverse, and talented city.  A far cry away from the crimes and negative images you see on the 6 o’clock news.   Bruce said every man should own a copy of the book Rules of the Red Rubber Ball:  Find and sustain your life’s work by Kevin Carroll. I’m going to check out this book myself.   Bruce “The Mayor” Fields, I #SALUTE you today and say keep taking those risks and putting on for your city.  And maybe one day you will officially become the Mayor of Richmond.   The “street is watchin”! You can follow Bruce on Instagram @bofields to stay updated on the latest that Richmond has to offer!   -grannyBee

Dances with my father

I was at home a few weeks ago and my step-dad asked me when was the last time I had visited my father's grave. I shrugged it off and said "IDK". "Why", he asks. He then says, "you should try to get out there at least once a year".  I wonder what prompted him to ask me that.

My dad passed when I was 15. I didn't allow myself to grieve until about a week or two later.  That same day I went and cheered at a basketball game like nothing happened. I walked around in a daze. Didn't shed one tear. Not because of lack of love or anything, I loved my daddy to death. I think I just didn't know how and didn't want anybody to see me. I finally broke down at home and started having anxiety attacks. Luckily my step dad was there and talked me through it.

Well it's been almost 10 years and I can probably count on one hand how many times I visited his grave. No, I'm not cruel, we didn't have a bad relationship or anything like that. I'm just not one to go standing around at a grave trying to find comfort from a piece of granite.  Every Memorial Day my grandmother and other family members go out to our family plot and clean graves. They pick weeds, remove trash, etc. I never understood why they did that until this year.

As I Get older, I find my self tearing up inside and swallowing back a lump in my throat when I see children interacting with their fathers.  Things are happening and I get an urge to call my dad just to say hey. Sometimes at night, I just let it out silently and allow the tears to flow.  I cried after I graduated college, I cried after I met the former Gov Doug Wilder, I cry sometimes after watching something on tv.  I think grief lasts forever and I now know that it's ok to acknowledge those feelings.  That's how I get through. I smile and just say, "DAD"!  I say it out loud to hear myself and hope he hears it too. I think the hardest part of me getting older is knowing we only had 15 years together. 15 years of memories and love. Just knowing he didn't get to see me drive, date (he always said I couldn't date till I was 30), be a part of the Air Force JROTC ( I joined because he was in the air force ), see me graduate, help me move into my first apartment, etc.  I don't think of him as missing out on anything anymore; I just call him up in my bed, my secret place, and tell him about it!

I think the reason my family cleans off graves every year, is to let our ancestors know that somebody remembers them . Somebody remembers their legacy and loves them. Me and my mom were fussing when we went to my father's resting place and saw weeds and grass growing around other people's graves. We saw tire tracks like somebody just took a joy ride over graves. Every time I hear Luther Vandross's song "Dance With My Father", I cry. I love that song and that will always be our song.  It's crazy how people that haven't seen me since I was a a baby will ask, are you Randy's daughter? You look just like him! ( Got this yesterday). So when I'm having a moment, I'll go to my secret place and Dance With My Father, Randy Jerome Hurt.

Mr. Suave

I first met Ryan last year at a Richmond Young Professionals meeting. At the end, Ryan came over and introduced himself to me as he was the director of membership. Long story short, it turned out that we worked for the same company, same building, same floor, and sat a few feet away from each other.  I was also starting a development program at work the next day and he was one of the leaders!   First impressions are really important.  No matter where I see Ryan, he always has a smile on his face, is always dressed for an interview, his demeanor never changes, and he always has a minute to spare!     Ryan is originally from New Orleans (you can’t miss his strong, southern accent) and will quickly (but politely) educate you on the proper way to say it.  It’s not N’awlins or New Or-leens, simply New Or’lins (I think I got it right lol).  This brother has accomplished a lot to be under 30.

When Hurricane Katrina hit in 2005, Ryan and his family were hit hard.  He was a student at Tulane University and had to relocate to the University of Houston. Upon return to Tulane, he became a member of Kappa Alpha Si fraternity.  After Tulane cut his program he transferred to Vanderbilt University and received his Master’s in Electrical Enginieering.  He was an IT guru at my job but is now heading to the University of Chicago Booth School of Business to get his MBA.  This young man has been to London to the Olympics and plans to go to the United Arab Emirates/Dubai this summer.  He is always volunteering at work and outside of work, serves as a member of several boards, and again, always has a smile on his face.  He told me that after Katrina someone told him, “Although, you lost everything in Katrina, you and your family are alive, so you have nothing to complain about " and it changed his perception on what is truly valuable in his life.  I always tell Ryan, “I want to be like you when I grow up”.  

So today, I salute you Ryan and say goodluck on your new chapter! I will miss you my friend but know you are destined for great things.   I asked Ryan what is something that every man should have.  He responded, “A silk pillowcase”.  I literally laughed out loud when he emailed me that.  His explanation, “so that your significant other won’t mess up her hair”.  Only you Ryan lol.

#MCM

Man Crush Monday or #MCM is is the day we women celebrate some of God’s greatest specimen lol.  The guys we know the Lord took a little extra time in crafting, the ones we low-key have a crush on and want to let them know in a subtle way, our boyfriends, husbands, and the friend with access to the benefits (hehe).  Fellas, if You see the hashtag #MCM with a few smiley faces and if she throws the kissey face below a pic, you know you’re in there!   She’s flirting!



Anyway, last week I gave my very first #MCM to Ron Bass (@IamRonBass), a New York artist and designer on the rise.  I have been inspired by his work and humility and I can’t forget to mention his smile J .  I decided that I would highlight a few brothers I have met that have influenced me in some type of way.  These men are dedicated to service, educated, and future icons.  So each week I will highlight someone I know and hope you all enjoy!

 and here's my #mcm  from last week